Just give me a cup of coffee, and nobody needs to die today!!


This has bugger all to do with comics, but life isn’t all comics right? Right???? Everyone loves a good rant, so here we go…

About a month ago I went into a rant on here about a stupid Anarchist bookshop in our neighbourhood. Well, the same people own the coffee shop next door called Cafe Fantastico. I mentioned in the previous post that they are really pretentious in there, all the furniture has been reclaimed from dumpsters (and looks like it too), and they heavily promote being environmentally friendly, like it is a cool thing to do, not for any real reason. In summary, they are fake hippies. They will tell you about their alternative lifestyle, them IM their buddies on their iPhone when you aren’t looking.

I had to take a day off work today, because I just became a Permanent Resident of Canada and needed to get my Social Insurance number changed. In order to do this, I had to show them my PR card at their offices between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. which isn’t terribly convenient if you work 30km away from the office. As I had the day off I decided to get a bunch of chores done in town. I had walked about 20km (I don’t have a car, by choice) and had finally gotten home, when I realised I needed to go one more place. I headed out, feeling stressed and tired, and the temperature was about 100C (if felt like it anyway).

I really needed a coffee, and was passing Cafe Fantastico, so I thought fuck it! How can this go wrong?! I queued up for about 5 minutes, and gave my order for one large cup of coffee and a raspberry danish. All was going well. Then the guy asked me for payment, so I presented my debit card. “Gnarly! We totally don’t take debit, bra!”, he said down his nose at me, “we take cash, personal cheques, and credit cards”. “But you have a debit machine right there”, I responded, as I pointed at the counter. “Oh, we don’t use it because it costs 25c every transaction”, “I’ll pay the extra money”, “sorry duder, it’s a policy”. I didn’t have anything else on me, so I told him to put it all back. He did not look happy!

Why don’t they take debit? For a shop that openly promotes environmental activism, they have some pretty fucked up ideas. They will accept paper cheques, with non-biodegradable ink on them, and they serve drinks in paper cups, and food in paper bags. What a bunch of hypocrites! Also, they are tied in with the anarchist book shop and have this “fuck the Man” attitude, but they will accept credit cards!

Cafe Fantastico, I hope you get bought out by Starbucks. We really don’t need any more Starbucks in this town, but that would probably be the biggest slap in the face you could get. I hope they also re-employ all of your fake hippies stoner dude employees. I would gladly choke down a crappy Starbucks latte just for the pleasure of seeing those obnoxious wankers dressed in the full barister getup.

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3 Responses to “Just give me a cup of coffee, and nobody needs to die today!!”
  1. ChrissyK says:

    I’d rather they got bought out by timmy’s. As I’ve said before, I’d love to see those pretentious tools pouring my a nice cup o’ pre-packaged mocha.

  2. Edward Kaye says:

    I hate their flavoured cappuccino that comes out of a machine. If you ask for it they give you this look like no one has ever asked it before! Then you realise, you never ask for it twice.

  3. atomicker says:

    I think the real crime here is that the guy called you “bra”. This was needlessly compounded by addressing you as “duder”. Horrible!

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